Reflections

Curious how other people experienced this practice? Here are some reflections from the participants that did the practice for the first time during the live event that took place in March 2021.

“Very comforting! Like becoming friends with your own body.”

 

“Sensual!”

“I encountered several sensations, particularly heat. To try again, every night!!”

 

“Present and connected.”

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“I found it really soothing and relaxing. Easier to visualize certain areas/moments than others.”

“The experience really made me realize what parts of my body I feel comfortable and connected with and what parts of my body I don't yet feel that way about.”

 

“I had experienced some resistance, and I had welcome sadness. Most of all, thank you, it was beautiful, this is so needed right now.”

 

“My mind was too restless, but it still relaxed me and made me want to try it on my own later or with a lover.”

“For a first time, it was a very slight experience, but it was a relaxing one. I look forward to repeating the practice and seeing how it builds.”
 

“In need to try that again to fully feel the different parts of my body.”

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Preparation

Before starting this practice, it’s important to first watch the “Tour through the female genital universe” video, so you are aware of the location, shape and size of all the elements referred to in this practice. 
 

Then, use the reflection sheet to go through two sets of questions which help you identify the body parts you would like to explore, and the qualities you would like to experience in your sexuality. 

When you’re ready, choose a comfortable place where you can lie down undisturbed for 10 minutes.
 

To give you a better idea of the location of the deeper elements of the genital universe, if you have a uterus, you can orient your anatomical map by its location: 
 

1. Make a triangle with your hands by placing your two thumbs and two index fingers together; 

2. Place your thumbs at your navel and let the rest of your fingers and hands rest on your lower belly. 
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The bottom of the triangle that is formed by your index fingers is likely to be around the middle of the uterus, whilst the ovaries will probably be somewhere close to your pinky fingers.

 

Context

Over the years, neuroscience has proven the incredible power of visualization. Our imagination is so powerful that when we imagine doing a certain activity, the same parts of our brain light up on a brain scan as when we actually do that activity.
 

Similarly, when we think about different parts of our body, different areas of our brain light up. So, with mental focus we can build stronger brain-body connections.
 

And when we have a stronger connection with different parts of our body, it’s easier to notice more and stronger sensations in those areas - including pleasure.
 

Focusing on the positive qualities that you would like to experience in your sexuality, can help to slowly remove negative beliefs and challenging emotions like shame or guilt that may have become linked to your sexual experience.

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Potential challenges

The guidance below is to support you with any potential challenges that you may experience during the exercise.

Visualizing

If you are not very familiar with visualization, this practice can be challenging at first. We recommend trying it several times to see if it gets easier as you become more familiar with it. If it is challenging for you to visualize the light, try to connect to the sensations in each area whilst bringing up images of what each element looks like. This might get easier after you have watched the video a couple times, to get a good understanding of the location, shape and size of all the different elements of your genital universe.
 

Metaphor

Don’t worry if the metaphor of the golden light just doesn’t work for you. You can experiment with other mental images like water or even honey! And if imagination continues to be a challenge, there are many other practices that don't work with visualization, which can give you the same benefits.

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Emotions and Sensations
 

Often our capacity for pleasure lies hidden underneath layers of repressed emotions like shame, sadness, fear or anger. It is common for practices which focus on intimate areas of the body to allow us to open up to these kinds of challenging feelings. This can be valuable, because repressing emotions often causes mental and physical tension and pain. Doing a practice in solitude, in the comfort of your own home is often one of the best places to gently and safely release these types of feelings. 

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It is important to acknowledge that this practice may bring up challenging sensations and emotions, and you may want to skip this exercise if you do not feel ready to do this. If you want to know more about what the practice will involve before listening to it, the instructions below give an overview of what it will cover. 

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If you do feel strong emotions or sensations arising during the practice, consider allowing your body to express some of these sensations if it feels safe to do so and you are feeling fully present in the moment. You could pause the practice to acknowledge what you are experiencing, and to give yourself space to release some of the emotions that are arising. If you feel tears coming, you may want to cry. If you feel anger bubbling up, you could try hitting a pillow or screaming into it.

 

Whatever arises, acknowledge what you are feeling, stay present, breathe deeply and try to allow the emotions to release. It is important to never push yourself in your emotional release. It is just as effective (and gentler on your nervous system) to release little bits at a time. After the practice, you may want to check in with how you are feeling, and take a moment to acknowledge that you have allowed your body to open up to some challenging sensations and emotions. 

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Feeling Overwhelmed

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If you feel overwhelmed by arising sensations or emotions, you can stop the practice at any time. You may want to come back to it another day, or you may decide that you want to focus on different practices entirely. There is no pressure to do any of these practices, and if they are bringing up difficult thoughts or feelings, the most important thing is to choose what feels right or comfortable for you. If you decide to continue with the practice, there are different ways you can support yourself: 

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1. Breathing: Take some very deep and slow breaths to calm your nervous system.

2. Resourcing: Focus on a part of your body which makes you feel safe or where you experience pleasant or calm sensations. 

3. Grounding: Ground yourself in your environment, e.g. by feeling the ground or bed beneath you. 

4. Compassion: Try to feel compassion for yourself and what you are experiencing.
    

Limited Sensation or Numbness

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If you experience limited sensation or numbness in the vulva or vagina, it may mean that you are feeling disconnected from these areas. This is very common, and it is important to be compassionate towards yourself. There are many reasons for this including social and cultural conditioning, shame around the way the vulva looks, having been touched in an insensitive or rough way, or impacts from sexual violence or abuse. 

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We all differ in vulva and vaginal sensitivity, and in how nerves innervate our pelvic area. Yet, we all have nerves, and thus the capacity for sensitivity and pleasure. If you experience numbness, this is often a protective barrier that is blocking the release of repressed emotions - but it may be blocking sensitivity and pleasure too. 

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Sensitivity can also (temporarily) reduce after surgery in this area, often temporarily. Whatever the cause, this practice can gently support you to release blockages and restore the natural sensitivity of your skin, nerves and tissues. 

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Instead of specifically looking for pleasure, first of all focus on any sensations that you feel in the vulva or vagina and gently scan your whole genital universe for any arising sensations, no matter how small or faint they are. If you experience a sensation that you don't want to be feeling, acknowledge it but move on until you get to something that you would like to be acknowledging.

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You can also ask yourself, “what am I feeling underneath this numbness?” This question may help you to tune into that emotion and allow yourself to feel it, so that the numbness subsides and sensations return. 

 

With regular practice to connect to a numb area, people can experience a change in sensation after a few weeks. For others it may take longer, but with repeated practice many people experience increased sensation and feeling. 

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Instructions
 

If you are deaf or hard of hearing, or if you would prefer to guide yourself through the practice rather than listening to the audio guide, you can use the instructions below. If you are planning to listen to the audio file then it will guide you step by step, and you do not need to memorize the instructions below.

Imagining the light

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• Take a few deep slow breaths into your chest.

• Visualize a tiny ball of warm light in your heart.

• Imagine the ball having a warm golden color.

• Visualize the light expanding with each breath.

• Think about the main quality or qualities that you would like to experience in your sexuality (see reflection sheet).

• Imagine this quality, or qualities, being absorbed by the light.

• Visualize the light moving outwards to the surface of your skin.

• Guide the warm light to stream down towards your navel.

• Feel the warmth expanding all over your lower belly.

 

Bathing the elements
 

From here, imagine the light slowly moving to bathe each element of your genital universe with a gentle warmth. Feel each element soaking up the light until they feel warm and glowing.

A suggested order: mons, clitoral hood, outer labia, inner labia, perineum, clitoral head, body, legs and bulbs, , anal opening, anal canal, perineal sponge, vaginal opening, vaginal canal, plexi spots, cervix, uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries. 

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Finish with a moment to take in the golden light and the sensations in your body, before imagining it fade away. Gently bounce and shake your pelvis, stretch your legs and arms and rest your entire body in stillness for a few minutes, as you let the feeling of the practice settle in your body.