Textbook anatomy. Narrow beauty standards. Binary genders. The numbered erogenous zones according to sex. The relationship arrangements that are considered the norm. Most of what we hear about sexuality and intimacy throughout our lives tells us that there are “normal” and “better” - or even “right” and “wrong” ways - to experience intimacy and to express ourselves sexually.
Yet, the reality is that we are all unique in all dimensions of our intimate lives: the physical, the emotional, the intellectual, the social and the spiritual.
If and how we prefer to be sexual with others. Whom we prefer to be intimate with, if anyone. What arouses us and what puts us off. What kind of physical stimulation feels great and what doesn’t. If and how we feel a connection between our sexual and spiritual lives. Our sexuality is unique in every dimension.
Enjoying all the dimensions, requires becoming familiar with - and building the confidence to act upon - a whole bunch of things: our sexual thoughts, emotions, sensations, desires, values, challenges, needs, boundaries and limits.
This takes some time and effort. Yet: how many people advised you to build a sexual exploration habit or gave you concrete tools for communicating effectively in your intimate relationships? Probably not that many, if any.
So which of all the elements in the list do you find most challenging to identify and to “honour” for yourself or to communicate to others (if desired)? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below.
Whatever elements you most struggle with, we are here to guide you, step by step because it’s so easy to get overwhelmed and to feel discouraged.
Stay tuned for habit building advice, helpful insights from research, practices to connect more deeply with your body, inspiring stories from real people, and - most of all - for stimulating questions.
Because it is through lifelong exploration PLUS self-reflection that we identify all that’s unique about our sexuality.